Compatibility
Compatibility (kafa'a) in marriage is extremely important for a prosperous and lasting marriage. This refers to religious, temperamental and intellectual compatibility.
Marry someone who has a similar religious background, temperament and nature to you. Someone who shares your interests in life - like reading, someone of a similar level of intellectual capability with whom you can connect and are able to understand. Although being from the same caste/ethnicity can help a marriage, it does not ânecessarilyâ mean that you are compatible. Some couples have the same mother tongue, yet they speak different languages; others have different mother tongues, but speak the same language!
Look on the bright side
For indeed we as human are not free from fault. The prophetic way is to look at the glass as âHalf-fullâ.
Abu Huraira reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, âA believing man does not despise a believing woman. If he finds something in her character he dislikes, he will be pleased by something else.â
Source: SĖŖahĖŖiĖhĖŖ Muslim 1469
Akhlakh and Ihsaan
Our mother Aisha reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, âThe best of you are the best to their families, and I am the best to my family. When your companion dies, then do not abuse him.â
Source: Sunan al-TirmidhiĖ 3895
And Rasullah Sw. warned us about the right of women:
Abu Huraira Ra. reported: The Messenger of Allah, peace and blessings be upon him, said, âO Allah, I have issued a warning in regards to the rights of two vulnerable groups: orphans and women.â
Source: Sunan Ibn MaĖjah 3678
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Beauty and Subjectivity
Beauty itself is subjective. What Imam meant here is: The person you marry will be the comfort of your eyes. Some people would go to the extreme and say they donât care about the beauty in their spouse. And some would say beauty is the most important element for them. But the Khayer is in the middle. One shouldnât reject a proposal if s/he is pious. So, Deen must come in first. One should look lightly on the matter that concern him first. And deen should be the final verdict. If s/he has Deen. S/He has Khayer wallahi. Donât let the devil deceive you.
Conceal the key to your heart.
May Allah ease the affairs of the Muslims. We pray to Allah by his glory and majesty, to grant you a pious wife. Who can please you eyes in this duniya and the akhirah. A wife who fears Allah alongside you & is obedient to Allah. And may Allah grant you righteous offspring.